I’m trying something new today. For purposes of
illustration, I’m writing a logline for this blog entry – a “blogline” I
guess. It’s going to contain several
common logline mistakes. Here goes:
A
cantankerous but kind screen-scribe overcomes the interloping of a baneful blog
goblin to share some hard-won wisdom about loglines in this hilariously clever blog.
Any guesses as to what I did wrong? A couple mistakes should be clear from the
logline itself. A third should become
evident after reading down the page a bit.
1. Puffery
My first mistake is telling you my blog is
“hilariously clever”.
There’s nothing in this logline to suggest I’m so
terribly clever. There’s no reason for a
reader of this logline to believe that out of all the writers who toot their
own horns I’m the one who’s simply being honest.
Phrases like spellbinding, gripping and
laugh-out-loud belong in reviews, not loglines.
It’s great to have confidence in your work, but
real confidence shows when you convey your story simply and cleanly and let
your creativity sell itself.
2. Wonderfully Wacky Word-Smithery
My second mistake is throwing in all the poetic
alliteration and those big words – cantankerous, interloping and baneful – to
show how smart I am.
We’re writers, right? And so we rightfully spin sentences that whirl
and swirl in wild flight, right?
No.
Not in screenwriting.
And definitely not in loglines.
Loglines are simple sales pitches. They work best when they’re unadorned and
crystal clear.
Phrases like “cantankerous but kind” may sound
snappy at first, but they often just get in the way. And I’m not actually cantankerous at all.
3. Catchy But Not Matchy
My third mistake is an important one to be aware of, and I see it a fair
amount.
This particular mistake is impossible to spot
when reading the logline alone. But by now you may be getting a sense of it.
Log lines do more than simply get someone to read
your script. They set expectations for
the product you’re selling. This is why
you need the log line to match your screenplay spot on. In other words, it needs to very accurately
describe your script.
And for purposes of illustration, my logline for
this blog needs to match what’s in it.
So where’s the interloping blog goblin?
HERE I AM!
GROG THE BLOG GOBLIN! GET READY
FOR SOME INTERLOPING!!!
Too late, Grog.
By now, most readers have already decided
(consciously or unconsciously) that my blog didn’t deliver on the promise of
its logline.
If you mention an antagonist in your logline, that
antagonist needs to be a big part of your screenplay – and should probably
arrive in Act One.
Loglines have to be accurate – accurate about
genre, accurate about the primary characters, accurate about the plot.
Even if you come up with a great catchy logline,
if it doesn’t match your story, you’re selling a product you’re not in a
position to offer.
It may be that instead of changing the logline,
what really needs to change is your script.
Either way, the bottom line is:
If you’re gonna sell, match the logline well.
